"BUT GOD"

"BUT GOD"

THE SERIES

When I started this I was going to show you what I had been through, and as I started writing I step into another shoes and I know that was God who aloud me to see another tradgety instead of focusing on my own , My mother has had a hard why to go in her life and to see how strong she has become and to know I am of good courage because of her. Then all of a sudden my story changed and I was really seeing what

God wanted me to see, instead of focusing on what I wanted to show you. If you listen intensely to where the Spirit of the Living God is leading you your heart will be healed of all pain, If we step out of ourselves and look at another story maybe you will understand why that person hurt you and what was there circumstance ..sometimes we are so engulfed with what we have suffered and we forget when we are close up it looks so big in our eyes, but when we step back and take a closer look sometimes you can see the whole picture, my heart has been forever changed because of  GOD , my mother has had to endure alot in her life and I am taking this time to honor her and her life...she is a strong and her love for her children is uncanny unlike any other mother I am blessed to have her for a mother. Never have I seen life through her eyes but God has allowed me to see it though her eyes.

When life hands you lemons make lemon-aid be that gentle kind person and know that the LORD will see you though all circumstances and when you see it though the heart of God everything changes. Does it mean that He just throws your pain away, by no means it mean he is healing it all and you are growing up.

"BUT GOD"

"BUT GOD"

WHEN MY MOTHER FOUND OUT SHE WAS PREGNANT SHE AS TERRIFIED OF WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN TO HER AND HER CHILDREN, HER HUSBAND WAS OUT OF TOWN AND SHE HAVEN'T SEE HIM FOR ABOUT 6 MONTHS . HOW WAS SHE GOING TO EXPLAIN HER PREGNANCY, WELL NEVER THE LESS SHE HAD TO MAKE A CHOICE TO GET AN ABORTION OR KEEP ME WELL ,AS YOU CAN SEE SHE KEPT ME AND ENDED LOSING HER OTHER THREE CHILDREN , OUT OF IGNORANCE . I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT MY MOTHER NEVER FORGOT THEM CHILDREN HER WHOLE LIFE,  AND I THINK HER HEART WAS BROKEN ALL THOSE YEARS. ANOTHER THING SHE HAD TO FACE IS THAT MY REAL DADS FACE EACH DAY WHILE HE WAS WITH MY GRANDMA, AND MY GRANDMA FINDING OUT HOW MY MOTHER GOT PREGNANT , WELL THE TRUTH CAME OUT AND THAT WAS ANOTHER STIKE AGAINST MY MOTHER AND YOU GOT IT ME,  IT WAS TOLD THAT MY MOTHER SLEPT WITH MY SO CALLED DAD AND SHE LIVED WITH THAT LIE ALL THESE YEAR UNTIL ONE DAY SHE TOLD ME THE REAL STORY OF MY CONCEPTION. YOU KNOW IF YOU REALLY WOULD STEP INTO ANOTHER PERSON SHOES YOU END UP SEEING LIFE THROUGH THERE EYES AND HOW DIFFICULT IT HAS BEEN FOR THEM. WELL MY MOTHER ENDED UP LOSING HER THREE CHILDREN DUE TO THE IGNORANCE OF A MOTHER WHO WAS VERY YOUNG AND VERY VAUNABLE AND DIDN'T KNOW HER RIGHTS. JUST THINK SHE JUST LOST HER THREE CHILDREN AND WAS PREGNANT WITH HER MOTHER BOYFRIENDS CHILD AND DID HAVE A JOB,I ASK YOU WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE IN THE SAME CIRCUMSTANCE? WELL SHE KEPT ME AND LIVE IN A MOTEL AND CLEAN ROOMS SO SHE HAD A PLACE TO STAY. WELL THE TIME CAME FOR ME TO ARRIVE AND ARRIVE I DID, WHILE SHE WAS CLEANING HER WATER HAD BROKE AND SHE CALLED A YOUNG MAN SHE HAD KNOWN TO TAKE HER TO THE HOSP. AS SHE WAS WAITING SHE USED A CAR AND DROVE HERSELF TO THE HOSP. WELL SHE HAD ME RIGHT IN THE CAR ON THE WAY TO THE HOSP. AS SHE DROVE UP TO THE HOSP. THE NURSES AND DOCTORS CAME RUNNING OUT TO FIND MY MOTHER COVERED IN BLOOD FROM HAVING ME THEY TOOK ME AND LEFT HER THERE..SHE ENDED UP WALKING IN AND ALMOST PASSING OUT..THEY THEN CAME AND GOT HER. YOU KNOW JUST WRITING THIS IS GIVING A GREAT LOVE FOR MY MOTHER, SHE ALWAYS TOLD ME SHE LOVED ME BUT I NEVER KNEW HOW MUCH I AM HUMBLED BY THE SACRIFICE SHE HAD TO MAKE TO KEEP ME.

'' BUT GOD''

"BUT GOD"

The Series

I am going to go through a whole year telling of the things God almighty has done for me, starting with my testamony, that in it self is a big deal because people like me just couldn't possiablity make it without God...I was born in the early spring and I am going to tell you how I was conceieved, because that is really how it all started. My mother was married to a young man who I never knew she had three children and her husband, was in the armed forces who had called her to tell her that he was leaving her for another, she had no where to go..imagine what she was thinking all alone with three children , and mined you this was about 1950's where you just didn't get divorced  can you imagine what this young mother was thinking, What am I going to do where am going to go? So she called her mother and asked to stay with her along with her three children..Well I am going to tell you what her mother was like, she was a drunk and slept with many men ,and my mother had to take care of her drunk butt all the time. Her mother was very mean and beat her all the time when she was little..so to think now she is an adult and has to deal with three children that i know she loved very much, and a drunk mother and now a man who was telling her he was leaving her for another...put yourself in her shoes for a moment...what would you do ...My grandmother had a boyfriend and that boyfriend was much younger than my grandma.. and he hung around the house alot, and knew about what my mother was going through one night overwhelmed with what she had to face she went to the corner bar and had a drink and sat in a booth by herself and cryed...I would of done the same thing to..she didn't know God and she was by herself in the world with no one she could depend on..Well who walks in the bar but my grandmothers boy friend who proceeds to walk over and sits in the booth of my crying mother

he asked her if she wanted a drink to which she replied OK.. and he was trying to console her when all of a sudden my mother woke up in a room sleeping in the bed of my grandmothers boyfriend, how did she get there,she had no knowledge of how she got there as she proceeded to get up she was thinking what am I going to do about this added thing I had to endure... I think he drugged her..then raped her, because that would explain  alots of my troubles.and so about 1 month later she was pregnant with me..oh hang in there it gets real good as I grow up and realized how different I really am.

Have you ever feel liked you have missed something in life and you quite can't put your finger on it..have you been adopted or orphan or missing your real Father, maybe you grew up not knowing who your mother or father are...even growing up in a household and you had a step parent...

Well I got news for you.. the Word of
God is your hope in a hopeless situation and the word states If your father and mother forsake you, GOD will pick you up He will not leave you as an orphan, God is what you need in every circumstance and he will parent you, he will love you and take care of you ....that empty feeling in the depth of your heart is the missing love you so desperately want and need to bring you back to wholeness...if u never asked Jesus in your heart now is the time to do it , you will be restored to your

LOVE ABBA FATHER

LORD I BELIEVE IN YOU,LORD I HAVE FAITH IN YOU, LORD I TRUST  YOU....

EVEN IF YOU DON'T TRUST GOD YET LET ME HELP YOU, I WANT YOU TO KNOW WHO SPOKE INTO THE DARK AND CREATED THE LIGHT, ELOHIM OUR CREATOR....IT IS HARDER TO BELIEVE THAT WE JUST APPEARD THEN TO BELIEVE GOD SPOKE INTO THE DARKNESS AND CREATED THE LIGHT, THE REASON YOU ARE ALWAYS QUESTIONING GOD ABOUT WHO HE IS BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE..HE SPOKE AND SAID LET US MAKE MAN INTO OUR OWN LIKENESS..AND SO HE FORMED US, INTO HIS IMAGE...DID YOU KNOW HOW PRECIOUS YOU ARE TO FATHER...HE LOVES HIS CREATION SO MUCH HE SENT HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON TO DIE FOR US SO WE CAN BE RECONSILED TO HIM..GOD THE FATHER THE SON JESUS CHRIST AND THE HOLY SPIRIT ARE VERY REAL AND ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS REACH OUT AND LET GOD HEAR FROM YOUR HEART...ETERNITY IS IN EVERY HEART OF THE HUMAN RACE..SOMETIMES WE THINK TO MUCH INSTEAD OF RECIEVING GOD AS A SMALL CHILD TOTALLY TRUSTING IN HIM AND WHO HE IS GOD IS LOVE IT IS NOT WHAT HE DOES IT IS WHO HE IS...GOD IS LOVE